Dumb Stupid Criminals

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Criminals don’t always think things through. They often act on impulse, and many of them aren’t exactly the brightest crayons in the box. So instead of sophisticated Oceans 11-type heists, you get bumbling buffoons more befitting of a Three Stooges act. Here are some rather humorous real-life stories of dumb and stupid criminals and the silly or unusual things they do. Go ahead and permit yourself to have a little laugh at their expense.

Stupid criminals & the dumb things they do

Horse Smuggling: The More Comical Version
A 19-year-old Polish man was arrested on horse theft after trying to sneak the animal into his third story apartment building. Residents became suspicious when they saw a man “trying to lead a mare into the stairwell of a multi-family building,” said a police spokesman. No word on what he planned to do if he actually got the horse inside his apartment. (The Week, 3-15-2024, p. 12)

Plot Foiled After Different Thieves Steal Getaway Car
You know crime is getting bad when even the thieves have to worry about thieves. Three men in Colorado were arrested for robbing a check-cashing service, after a different set of thieves stole their getaway vehicle. The masked men emerged from the check-cashing service to find their getaway car gone. They fled on foot and were quickly apprehended. (The Week, 12-29-2023, p. 14)

“Give me all your money…now would you like to go out sometime?”
In Indianapolis, Indiana, a man robbed a woman at gunpoint outside her home. The robbery suspect apparently told her he would pay her back…and then asked the woman out on a date. (USA Today, June 28, 2023, p. 3) I don’t know, ladies, I think she should go for it. At least he was a polite armed robber.

A real-life Weekend At Bernie’s
Two men in Carlow, Ireland, were arrested for bringing a dead man’s corpse into a post office to try and collect the dead man’s pension. After being told the recipient had to be present in order to collect the money, this criminal mastermind had an accomplice help him drag the dead man’s corpse into the lobby and prop him up seated in a chair. (The Week, 2-11-2022, p. 12) No word on how long the man had been dead, but I suspect the flies buzzing around him may have given it away.

Two birds with one stone
In Delaware, In December of 2021, a man robbed a bank by delivering the teller a note demanding $150. He then stopped on his way out to deposit a portion of the stolen cash into his personal account using an ATM by the bank’s front door. Needless to say, p0lice caught up with 44-year-old McRoberts Williams a short time later and arrested him.

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