911is there to help us in an emergency, but some people have a rather unique definition of what qualifies as an ’emergency.’ Here are some of the crazier and stupidest 911 calls our fellow citizens have made:

Sibling rivalry
A man in Ohio called 911 to report that he had laundry in the washing machine when his sister rudely ended the cycle and took out his clothes. He demanded she be arrested. The operator suggested they work it out between themselves.

Suspicious caricatures
A citizen in Kentucky called to report a creepy naked man in a white terry cloth robe loitering outside a home. Police arrived on the scene to discover it was a mannequin dressed as cousin Eddy from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

911 operator I need to pee!
A truck driver in Canada was stuck in traffic. So he frantically called 911 reporting that he needed to pee, “and these guys are not moving!!” The incredulous 911 operator asked, “This is your emergency? That you have to pee? How are the police going to help you urinate?”

Kidnapped Car Salesman
In Redford, Michigan, two woman asked to test drive a vehicle from the Matick Chevrolet dealership, but the salesman became suspicious that they were bumming a free ride when they instead drove to a McDonalds to buy food.  When the driver ignored orders to stop the car, the salesman called 911 to report that he was being kidnapped and held against his will. (2/12/2015)

Dumb 911 calls from British, Columbia
Authorities in British, Columbia took more than 2.3 million 911 calls in 2023. Here are some of the sillier ones they fielded:

• To complain that a traffic light was taking too long to turn green.
• Asking for directions home from the Drake concert.
• To complain that their Uber Eats order was taking too long.
• To report a burger joint for not letting them into the restaurant before opening time.
• Because they couldn’t find their cell phone.
• Because the barber gave them a bad haircut.

(Readers Digest, June 2024, p. 27)