In Manchester, New Jersey, firefighters were called in to rescue a woman who was stranded up a tree. Apparently, she climbed up the tree to seek refuge from coyotes. She then tied herself to a branch using a piece of her pant leg, going into full on Hunger Games mode before spending the night in the tree. When she awoke the next morning, she discovered that her legs were too weak to get back down again.  Apparently, sleeping in trees isn’t the best for one’s lower body circulation. So authorities were called in to assist the tree-bound woman.

The classic cliche is that of firefighters being called in to rescue a kitten, but we encounter an astonishing number of stories involving people needing to be rescued from trees, and for often dubious reasons.  Unless these were rabid, genetically engineered coyotes, or unless she’s a house cat, coyotes are about as threatening as a garter snake to an adult. Clap your hands and they scatter.

Earlier this year, a drunk man had to be rescued after climbing a tree to escape what he believed to be wild pumas. I wonder if anyone had the good sense to inform him that cougars are quite adapted to climbing trees . . . at least better than intoxicated humans can.